Fracture Form Frame…..with a side order of TABULA and serendipity.

Fracture Form Frame…..with a side order of TABULA and serendipity.

Connections come at strange moments. Timing has always intrigued me, why today and not yesterday? (19/11/18)

I dug out a letter, written by my birth mother to Sr. Assumpta in Bessborough in 1974. It was dated 6th November 1974. I wanted to use this in my FFF project. I was shuffling through the other copies of files sent to me as part of my freedom of information request 4 years ago. (The legislation to enable access to this information is only in affect since October 2014. Before this all information relating to Irish adoptions was suppressed with false, different names given to the birth mother and birth names for children born, all to avoid trace-ability.)

I noticed on a registration form ‘Records and Particulars book of Maternity Home’ a line that read

Number of previous pregnancies (full time or otherwise) 1 

Holy fuck, does that mean I have a sibling? I was shaking. I got onto the agency Tusla, that holds records for Bessborough Mother & Baby home to confirm the pregnancy and advise if I may have a sibling.

On Friday morning, 1st November 2018 I got a call. Yes. Yes. I have a brother. He was named John, born 11th October 1973. I have a brother. I have a brother! 44 years to the day she gave me away I discover I have a brother. I believe that we are full siblings, as I was conceived 3 months later and my birth father is also named as John. Myself and my brother are what are known as Irish twins. He was born in another Mother & Baby Home in Co. Waterford in ’73 and given up for adoption too.

I am overwhelmed. If I hadn’t chosen to use this material for this project I may never have looked again (good ole Tabula method comes in handy for everything!). I am also very angry, just because I never asked the right questions I was never told I had a blood relation, a brother. I am sad for the years stolen from us. I was informed he went looking for our birth mother in 2003 so I am hopeful he would be open to meeting me if we can find each other. I will push and push through the red tape, the GDPR bullshit, the bureaucracy of government and the stealth controls of the church and I will not stop till I find him. I’m sick of the secrecy, the imposed prison on our true identity.

This is not really an art making related post but intrinsically linked… art & make posts to follow when I have sifted though my photos. I think I will keep this post private for now. I want to keep some space for the work derived from this FFF project to be seen first and I am still processing the enormity of this news.

This was a Private Blog Post from 20/11/18